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[Top funny statuses] #4

1-Hurting yourself and not being able to swear, because your parents are there.
2-Sleep is my drug, my bed is my dealer, and my alarm clock is the police.
3-Shit happens, I mean look at you...
4-Every mother on earth gave birth to a child. Except my mother, she gave birth to a legend. High five mom.
5-My iPhone 5 is like a Unicorn... I don’t have a unicorn.
6-90% of the contacts in my phone are useless.
7-I make myself laugh, I should date me.
8-Old friend: "We need to hang out!" ... Never happens
9-Crush: "Who do you like?" Me: *You you you!* "No one".
10-By the time you learn the rules of life, but you will be too old to play the game.
11-My girlfriend started complaining about my lack of interest in her family. So I fucked her sister.

Top funny statuses #4 | ifunny statuses

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